Looking West

Welcome!

I'm a writer, a painter, and I'm passionate about healing: individual, societal, and environmental. My lived experience has made me a highly motivated advocate for truth and justice in medicine.

​I write 'fiction with attitude', in other words, my novels address issues that I consider important in a quirky, often irreverent way. House of Bread is a fictional account of life in a UK psychiatric hospital, based on my own experience; Badric's Island is about the ridiculous and damaging advertising targeting women, and Dead Pets Society addresses our environmental crisis, our dependence on fossil fuel, our relationship with the natural world, and how only a r/evolution in conscious awareness can save us.

My artwork is inspired by the natural world and the British landscape. I restored Old Master Paintings for twenty years and learnt a great deal from the privilege of working on works of art that have stood the test of time.  blog  about mental health issues, and write short stories and silly poems about serious things. 

 

I am hungry to learn more about the language of plants, plant medicine and about how to live in harmony with our world. I couldn't live without music, art and literature, and have an insatiable appetite for all things esoteric. 

At the moment, I'm working on a memoir exploring my experience of psychiatric and cancer treatment, and what these epidemics can teach us when viewed as a part of our environmental crisis; how I unravelled my diagnoses, and my discovery of how these things are intrinsically linked. 

 

Like millions of people, I've spent my life wondering why I found it difficult to sustain the wellbeing I knew to be my birthright. There seemed to be no answers. I was told that it was just the way things were, and people with 'diagnosable mental illnesses' were just unlucky — the human equivalents of extreme, but random, weather events. But you don't have to be diagnosed by the psychiatric services to feel the dis-ease of modern life. Millions also suffer from chronic illness, which, like cancer and psychological illness, neither allopathic nor naturopathic medicine is able to reliably cure. Inevitable physical and mental deterioration is, we're told, just part of the human condition. I don't believe that, and I never did.

 

I'm hugely grateful to all the amazing healers and medical practitioners who have educated and treated me, both in the UK and in Mexico, even when that education was a less than positive experience. I've been on a cancer journey for a decade, and have barely left a stone unturned in the world of alternative or integrative medicine. I suffered a violent sectioning and enforced medication by psychiatry when I was very young, and very reluctantly and under great pressure, I've undergone conventional cancer treatment, which left me with permanent physical damage more than once. I have endured suicidal depressions as my bodymind processed what happened to me, and I have delved deeply into my own conditioned beliefs and imprints from my upbringing in this society. 

 

Now, despite a 'terminal diagnosis', my belief in the healing potential of the earth, our bodies, minds, and hearts by natural means remains unshakeable. But only if and when we take the time to learn about our personal and planetary deep ecology. This is a journey into profound wonder and joy at the exquisite, intricate web of life of which we are each a unique and an essential part. The understanding that self-care and our individual healing journeys are each a vital part of the healing of our struggling planet couldn't be a more powerful incentive to wake up, clean up, choose love over fear every time, and join in the birthing of the new paradigm. 

 

Thanks to the work of Anthony William, the  Medical Medium , I am presently witnessing a profound healing in my body and my psyche. I now understand that the fight is not with ourselves or our own bodies, but with the potent and often lethal mix of toxicity, pathogens and trauma, which we all are subject to at this time because of our broken system with its bio- and ecocidal policy the world over. This must end now if we are ever to achieve wholistic health. 

Despite all our personal, social and environmental problems erupting and our system being shaken to its core by the controversial and polarising so-called coronavirus pandemic, the will and potential to heal is real and tangible, as so many across the world are 'being the change'. We can't idealise a lost Eden, but we can, even within the constraints of our society and the mess we've made of our world, get back to the garden. And be healthy and, most importantly, happy. Healing is a spiritual journey, it can lead nowhere else, and it's great to be here now. 

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©️ AMANDA NICOL 2020 GLASTONBURY . UK